Excerpt from Cowboy Saints,
by Philip Raines and
Harvey Welles
The franchise owner was a Vietnamese-American hag with greasy
eyebrows and a surprisingly lovely honeysuckle odor. When Half
Stone explained what he wanted, she told him immediately, "No
adventure holiday."
"No holiday," he replied unhappily. "Vocation."
The owner regarded him suspiciously. "What you want?"
she asked, but Half Stone could only shrug.
That seemed to satisfy her, so she drove him out of the main
processing base of the fast-food ranch in her jeep. As they
rattled along the hardened dirt road, Half Stone tried to take
in the Utah landscape - broken rock and brittle bushes - but
it was just useless wilderness to him. He'd grown up in places
like this farm - scrappy industrial homesteaders. They dotted
across a land which had been cleared centuries ago by fast pioneers
on their way west, then slowly gnawed to the bone when they
doubled-back decades later after running up against the sea.
A single telecom cable ghosting above the track was the only
trace of the electronic, and four rough miles up the road, the
lone shack was the only thing plugged into the rest of the world.
The shack failed to hide the bleak bowl of land beyond the barbed-wire
boundaries of the grazing. Not much to graze, Half Stone thought
- not even dirt, just sand and boulders.
When they'd gotten out of the jeep, the old woman started telling
him, "Simple job, look after meat."
She tapped one of the boulders with a sneaker and it stirred
into shivery life. A headless, leathery pouch on four reinforced
chicken legs. Sexless, almost senseless but for a sophisticated
inner ear installed for balance. Apart from an excretory chute
located between the legs, there were no orifices.
"Easy work. Three parts." The old woman took an aerosol
with a hypodermic needle attached and filled it from the nearest
canister.
"One, feed."
Placing a foot on the meat, she jabbed the needle into its side
and emptied the specially-prepared feed. She turned the side
of the can towards him so he could see the printed feeding instructions
in Vietnamese and English.
"Two, circulate."
She started kicking the meats, rousing all thirty-five animals,
and forced them away from the shade. Knocking into each other
and rebounding like slow-motion rubber balls, the meats diffused
out for five yards before dropping silently again to the ground.
"So not lie in own shit, get disease," the woman explained
and chucked the aerosol can to Half Stone.
"Three, not bother me for six week."